


Playing House

by InTheWind



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3792277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheWind/pseuds/InTheWind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for one of my favorite Tumblr-ers, with the prompt Rolivia + “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately." from the ridiculous sentence meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing House

“Mommy, you're the mommy. Aunt Mandy, you're... the other mommy! And me and Frannie are the babies.”

Five-year-old Noah laid out the ground rules as the adults tried to hide their amusement. A recent Family Day at his preschool had led to many vigorous discussions about why some kids had a mommy and a daddy, some had two mommies or two daddies, and some very lucky children—like Noah himself—had a mommy and many, many close aunties and uncles. Playing house had suddenly become endlessly fascinating, so when Amanda and her dog met Olivia and Noah at the park on a sunny spring afternoon, he immediately roped them into the game.

“Now,” Noah continued, “The mommies are at work, and me and Frannie are home alone doing whatever we want...”

“I don't think that's how it works, kiddo,” Amanda gently interrupted.

She was met with a frown from her honorary nephew. “It's my game, Aunt Mandy,” he explained. “I say how it's s'posed to work.”

“That's not nice, Noah,” Olivia corrected. “If you want other people to play with you, then it has to be everybody's game.”

Amanda grinned. “It's fine, Liv. His imagination's probably better than mine anyway.”

Olivia shook her head, biting back a smile. “This is the kind of thing I worry about, raising him as an only child,” she admitted as her son's attention drifted to the dog. “I want him to get along with other kids, and not grow up a loner like I was.”

“You thinking of adopting again?” Amanda asked.

Like mother, like son—now it was Olivia's turn to frown at her. “What, and be outnumbered? No, thanks. I was thinking more along the lines of finding time for more playdates. You know, with kids that go home at the end of the day, who I don't have to put through college on a civil servant's salary.”

Amanda laughed. “Yeah, I get it. Anyway, it's not like having siblings puts anyone on a fast track to becoming a good person—just look at your brother or my sister.” Before the conversation got too depressing, she hastened to add, “Noah's a good kid, Liv. He'll be fine.”

Olivia smiled, watching Noah interact with a very patient Frannie. “What about you?” she asked her colleague. “Do you ever think about kids, or settling down?”

Amanda shrugged, shaking her head sadly. “I've been such a mess for so long, I can't really think about taking care of anyone besides myself and Frannie.”

“Hmm.” Olivia regarded her for a minute, then after a beat said, “Some unsolicited advice? I wasted a lot of years thinking I was more messed up than I was, and that I didn't deserve to be happy. And I had a lot of people telling me that was bullshit, but I didn't listen until it was almost too late. Amanda, you've been doing really well these past few years. You've worked your ass off to come back from everything that's happened to you; don't waste all that effort because you're too busy beating yourself up to see it. There is life outside of the job, and whatever that means for you, I want you to find it, okay?”

Amanda nodded, avoiding eye contact. If only her boss knew what she'd wanted that to mean for her, once upon a time. Fortunately, Noah chose that moment to involve the grown-ups in his game again.

“Mommy, you have to come home from work now 'cause Frannie's sick! And Aunt Mandy, you have to come home too so you can stay with me while Mommy takes Frannie to the doctor.”

The two women stopped their conversation and immediately threw themselves into the pretend world of a little boy who knew all too much about doctors and being sick. Olivia led the good-natured pup to the “hospital”—a tree several feet from where they'd stopped to play—while Amanda assured Noah that his “sister” was going to be okay. After dramatically narrating a long, heroic effort to save Frannie's life, Noah triumphantly announced that all was well.

“They did it!” he squealed, wrapping his arms around the dog. “Frannie is cured of.... I-don't-want-to-go-to-school-itis!” Frannie celebrated by giving Noah's ear a thorough slobbering.

Liv and Amanda looked at each other and cracked up, both trying to disguise their laughter as relief that their “daughter” was going to be okay. They were not convincing enough for Noah's tastes.

“Psst,” he whispered. “You're s'posed to be really happy now.”

“We are happy, honey,” Olivia assured him, struggling to keep her voice even.

“No,” Noah said, “I mean really really happy.”

Amanda smiled indulgently. “Well, how would you like us to be really, really happy?”

“You should kiss!” the boy instructed.

His mother and aunt stopped laughing and stared at him, eyebrows raised.

“That's what mommies do on TV when they're happy,” he explained.

Olivia and Amanda looked at each other; Amanda shrugged, and they exchanged a brief, awkward peck on the cheek.

Noah sighed, annoyed that the adults weren't playing along. “Not like that! Mommies kiss on the mouth.”

Olivia paused, trying to formulate an explanation of the differences between pretend and reality that a five-year-old would understand. She looked to Amanda for help, but Amanda—who still had the older woman's earlier words ringing in her ears—mistook her questioning look for an invitation she was more than happy to accept.

Amanda closed the gap between them, chastely pressing her lips against Olivia's; this was not the way she'd imagined this moment—and she had imagined it, more times than she'd ever admit—but hell, Noah was watching and she'd do anything for that child, especially if it involved his mother. She felt Olivia stiffen and started to panic, realizing she'd misread the moment, but before she could pull away she felt Liv's arms around her, keeping her in place as the other woman gently parted Amanda's lips with her own. Her heart sped up as Amanda realized Olivia was kissing her back. Now this was how she had imagined it.

They didn't pull apart until a tiny voice sounded his approval: “That's better!”

“Right,” Amanda said, moving quickly to grab Frannie's leash. “I should, um... I should go....”

“Yeah,” agreed an equally-dazed Liv. “Noah, honey, it's, uh... it's almost dinnertime, we should get going. Say bye, baby.”

Noah dragged his feet in giving both Frannie and Amanda each a hug and a kiss goodbye, hoping to prolong his playtime. As the seconds ticked by the adults grew more and more uncomfortable, until the boy finally exhausted his excuses. As Olivia and Amanda set out for the exit, they deliberately went in separate directions instead of walking together as they usually did, each of them suddenly grateful for the park's labrynthine design.

The next morning Amanda parked herself in Liv's office bright and early, determined to be the first one in. The whole situation was embarrassing enough without being caught and questioned by Fin or Amaro or—God forbid—Carisi. Having succeeded in arriving unseen, there was nothing left to do but pace the small room and think about what she was going to say when Olivia showed up.

“I'm sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately,” was the first thing that came out of her mouth when Olivia opened the door.

Startled, Liv looked around to double-check that the squad room was empty before she entered her office and pulled the door shut behind her. “I'm glad you're here,” she said. “We should talk.”

“I'm so sorry,” Amanda said again, vaguely aware she was rambling. “I was completely out of line, I don't know what I was thinking, I never should have put you in that position and especially in front of Noah—”

“Hey, slow down,” Olivia said, not unkindly. She dropped her bags behind her desk and moved to stand in front of the other woman. “Can I just ask you one thing?”

Amanda nodded.

Olivia leaned over slightly so that she was looking the shorter blonde in the eye, despite Amanda's attempts to avoid her gaze. With uncharacteristic hesitance, she asked, “Do you have feelings for me?”

Amanda balked; this wasn't the question she had been expecting, but she was already probably fired so she figured she had nothing to lose by answering honestly: “Yes. I'm sorry, Liv, I should have told you a long time ago... or not told you, and transferred out... or, pretty much anything but what I did. But yes, I have feelings for you. I have since day one. I'm sorry.”

“Please stop apologizing.”

Amanda looked up sharply, finally allowing herself to look Olivia in the eye. “You're not mad?”

Olivia shook her head. “I'm surprised,” she admitted. “By your feelings... and by mine.”

“You have feelings for me?”

“I don't know,” Olivia responded honestly. “I'm your commanding officer, and we've both been through so much shit since we've known each other—it's not a line I ever would have thought about crossing until now. But when you kissed me yesterday, I felt something between us, and I'd like to explore that... if you want to.”

Of course she wanted to. This more than Amanda had ever dared hope for. But still she felt herself backing away, the knot in her stomach growing larger. “This could be bad, Liv. If this goes wrong, or even if it doesn't—like you just said, you're my lieutenant. You have so much more to lose than I do, and I know better than almost anyone how hard you had to work to get here. It would kill me if I cost you that. I can't ask you to risk it.”

Olivia reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Amanda's ear, letting her hand linger on the detective's face. “Amanda, you're not asking me to risk anything. I'm offering. And besides,” she added, pulling her hand away. “I have less to lose than you think.” She left Amanda standing in the middle of the room and went behind her desk, rummaging through the top drawer until she found what she was looking for: a small stack of papers, which she pushed across the desk toward the blonde.

Amanda moved closer to read the top page; she recognized what it was immediately but still had to read it over several times before she understood what Olivia was telling her. “These are retirement papers,” she said finally. “You're...?”

“Thinking about it,” Olivia clarified as she came back around to the front of her desk. She perched on the edge of the smooth wood surface, just inches away from the younger woman. “The truth is, I've been sitting on these for a while. I meant what I said yesterday, Amanda. There is more to life than the NYPD. I'm ready to see what else is out there; I'm just asking if you want to find out with me.”

This time there was no hesitation; Amanda threw her arms around Olivia and kissed her exactly the way she had dreamed of doing for years.


End file.
